Wow!

Wow! This is my first blog entry in over 3 months! I would like to say it was because an elephant fell on my face meaning I couldn't post, but to be honest I have just been lazy. In fact, I only remembered that I had a blog a couple of days ago!

This post is going to be short, but I would like to tell all of my hard-case fans (that's right!) that I will try and make more of an effort to post more often.

But for now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


CHERIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theif

I have read this book many times and it still remains as my favourite book. It follows a 12 year old boy named Percy Jackson that is suddenly attacked by monsters at his boarding school. He finds out that his best friend is a satyr (half-man, half-goat), and he also finds out that he is a half-blood (a child of a Greek god). He gets taken to a camp (Camp Half-Blood) for other kids that are children of Greek gods, where they get taught how to read Ancient Greek and how to fight like a warrior. After spending a few days at the camp, and without finding out who his father was, he is finally claimed by the God of the Sea: Poseidon. This spelled great trouble Percy, as this meant he was a child of the Big Three.

After World War II, The Big Three (Zeus, Poseidon and Hades) swore an oath that they would not have any more children as they were too powerful and dangerous. Zeus had already broken this oath when he had a daughter named Thalia. Thalia was killed by monsters three years previously, and as she was dying Zeus took pity on her and turned her into a pine tree. This pine tree now protects the borders of Camp Half-Blood so that no monsters can get into the camp (unless they are summoned by someone within).

Anyway, the world is at risk because Zeus' master bolt has been stolen, and he is framing Poseidon saying that Percy had stolen it. So Percy gets sent on a quest (along with Annabeth and Grover), to retrieve the master from the Underworld because they believe that Hades has taken it. Along the way, Percy encounters various monsters (e.g. Medusa, Echidna) and gods (e.g Ares, Dionysus) overcomes them all. When he confronts Hades, it turns out that he doesn't have the bolt and that Percy had it in the backpack that Ares had given him. Someone had also taken Hades' helmet of darkness.

In the end, it turns out that Percy's friend Luke was the one that stole both of the items and tried to cause World War III so he could resurrect the Titan Lord Kronos, who planned to over-rule the gods and start a new era. Anyway, Percy manages to return the 2 items back to their owners and prevents the war. Then Luke tries to kill Percy and escapes.

I really enjoy reading the Percy Jackson series, because it is written in first person (which catches my attention) and it is all about Ancient Greece in modern times. I give it a 10/10.

I Am Not At School Right Now

All of my classmates are at school right now, but I'm not. No, I am not wagging but I am also not sick. Then why am I at home? To be honest, I don't know. Yesterday my mum randomly said to me "Do you want the day off school tommorow?". Me, being the average teenage boy obviously responded with "Um. . . okay." So here I am at home alone with nothing to do. Well except blog and watch TV that is, so I'm not complaining.

The only excuse that I have for not being at school, is that I am really tired from performing in the school production Alice in Wonderland last night an the night before. Tonight is the last performance night, and there will be a cast party immediately after that goes for about an hour. I won't be able to take school off tomorro though, because Josh and I are leaving at luchtime to go down to Tauranga and then to Opotiki. We are going to some persons 21st birthday party on a marae which will be quite interesting. I will write a blog entry on the trip when I return!

I am bored of this blog entry now. I might go play basketball or Playstation or something.

Blog Explaining My Storymabob

The blog that I just posted was my creative writing assessment for English. I have areal problem with writing short stories, as I have to get all my ideas into the story. In my assessment I wrote about half of it as a draft and then completed it on the computer, so I was just pretty much making the story up as I went along instead of publishing. We were only supposed to write about 300 words, but when our designated time to complete the assessment was up I had already written 600 words, and I had barely even started my story. Our teacher decided to be kind, and gave us the weekend to complete the story. So I sent it home and put it on my flash drive, so I complete it at my dad's house. But when I got to his house, I plugged in my flash drive and it wasn't there! I was in a state of panic and I didn't know what to do.

Come Monday morning, I was absolutely crapping myself (not literally) because I knew we would only be allowed about about 20 minutes to touch our stories up. I heard that our teacher was annoyed at Aleisha who had written 820 words, so I was worried. But I relaxed a little when I saw the Seamus had written literally about 20,000 words.

I went to the classroom next door to use the computers and refined my story. I typed up a quick ending, and I came up with a way to describe my story.

Long beginning, no middle, short end.

I also came up with a reason.

Ran out of space and time.

I was absolutely astonished when our teacher handed out the marks. I had got an Excellence! I was overjoyed and a little puzzled, when the teacher began "Luke-", but I cut her off and said "Long beginning, no middle, short end?". She nodded and continued handing out marks to other people.

Future of the Whangaparaoa Peninsula (creative writing)

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! That was the sound that signalled a leak in the dome. Our dome. The dome that now surrounded the Whangaparaoa Peninsula from all angles. This was the 8th leak this week! And it just so happened that I was the on that had to fix it each time. The 8th time that I have lying in my pod in the middle of the night and been rudely awakened by the loud, dreary sound of a female voice over the intercom that was as old scratchy as an elderly lion deprived of its food. This morning the voice said: “Jacob Cleary, please report immediately to Sector C, Area 4 to repair a minor leak on the first interior layer in the dome.” What? Another interior leak? 67/68 of all the leaks over the past 3 weeks have been interior. That must mean that it was happening from inside the dome and that maybe even that someone was trying to sabotage The Mission. I was frightening yet amazing how very right I was.

I gave no further thought to the matter, as I had to get to the site as quickly as possible otherwise we might lose too much of our oxygen into the deep abyss of space. Additionally, if any radiation from Blast 904 got through we were screwed. Big time. It would mean filtration, and that wasn’t easy. It takes about 6 full days to do, and in which time all the residents of The Peninsula would have to remain indoors and wear safety masks, because if anyone came into contact with even a milligram of it, they would die.

I scrambled out of my pod and threw on my radiation suit like a madman. As I rushed past the door I snatched a quick glance at the calendar. 19th November 2452, Earth Time. It was the 6th anniversary of the Break-Off. The date when the Whangaparaoa Peninsula broke off from New Zealand (literally) and became an independent nation. It also happened to be the 2nd anniversary of the execution of The Mission. The secret plan to send the whole Peninsula into space, and land on the colony on Jupiter. The mission that was said to take 2 years and 1 day to complete. That was tomorrow. Everything was going to plan, and we are set to land on Jupiter within the next 24 hours.

I ran down the metal corridors, my feet making an ever persistent Clang! every time they hit the ground. I cautiously stepped into The Chute, careful not to bump anything. I quickly punched in the code C7, and I immediately got sucked down feet first into the tube that was just wide enough to fit me. I have been doing this for years, but still nothing compares to zooming along at the speed of light (well not really, but close to it anyway!) and feeling all my troubles disappear. It gives me a sense of freedom. It makes me forget about the cruel world that lies outside our dome and all the people that didn’t survive, or all the ones that are still suffering. Flying through the tube like a bullet, with the artificial wind resistance in my hair makes me feel like one of those bird things that you see in the artificial textbooks.

As I screeched to and exited the chute, I noticed my best friend and wok colleague already working on the leak. He always got there first. His name is Grodfrond and he is an Outsider (we can’t say alien anymore) from planet Carebon 6. He is about 7 feet tall, has a large orange head and blue scales. His eyes are as big as the moon (not quite literally), and he has a long, bulbous nose. He had only come onto the Peninsula a day before we launched into space. He had escaped from his home planet where he was treated like a slave. He almost never talks, but when he does he talks about his home planet and how we pretty much saved his life. He was the most humble, caring, kind being that could exist, and I believe that the human race could learn a lot from his example. He was playing his part so well, no-one suspected a thing. . .

I was so concentrated on fixing the leak that I barely noticed the two large men in big, black suits approaching Grodfrond and grabbing his arms. I finished repairing the leak and turned around. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” I yelled, wondering why they would want to arrest someone so innocent. The men in suits refused to answer and remained pushing Grodfrond into their vehicle. They slammed the door and one of the men approached me. “You're friend has been convicted of the attempted sabotage of The Mission. He is the one causing the leaks. He was sent here from his home planet to sabotage our mission and kill everyone aboard the Peninsula.” Before I could respond and stand up for his innocence the man walked to his vehicle and took off, leaving there with a million emotions going through my head.

1 week later

The man wasn’t lying. Grodfrond was guilty and everything he had told me was a lie. How could that happen? How could I be fooled so easily? As punishment Grodfrond got banished from the Peninsula, not that it would do much good, as he would just return to his home planet. We were now safely on Jupiter, ready to start our new life, hopefully without deception and chaos.

By Luke Taylor

List of Books that I Need to Read

The new Percy Jackson book is coming out soon, and every time a new book comes out in a series I have to read the whole series again from the start. So it has got me thinking about other books I should read, and other series that I haven't read before or not for a long time. So I thought I would write a list on my blog of all I books I need to read, and in the order that I am going to read them. (P.S. As you may have guessed, I have given up reading the Lord of the Rings for the time being. I will put it on my list though.)

• Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
• Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters
• Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse
• Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth (new)
• Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
• Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Miserable Mill
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Hostile Hospital
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Slippery Slope
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Grim Grotto
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Penultimate Peril
• A Series of Unfortunate Events: The End
• The Golden Compass/The Northern Lights
• The Subtle Knife
• The Amber Spyglass
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle
• Stormbreaker
• Point Blanc
• Skeleton Key
• Eagle Strike
• Scorpia
• Ark Angel
• Snakehead
• Deltora Quest: The Forests of Silence
• Deltora Quest: The Lake of Tears
• Deltora Quest: City of the Rats
• Deltora Quest: The Shifting Sands
• Deltora Quest: Dread Mountain
• Deltora Quest: The Maze of the Beast
• Deltora Quest: The Valley of the Lost
• Deltora Quest: Return to Del
• Deltora Quest 2: The Cavern of the Fear
• Deltora Quest 2: The Isle of Illusion
• Deltora Quest 2: The Shadowlands
• Deltora Quest 3: Dragon's Nest
• Deltora Quest 3: Shadowgate
• Deltora Quest 3: Isle of the Dead
• Deltora Quest 3: The Sister of the South
• The Hobbit
• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
• The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• The Lord of the Rings: Appendices
• The Davinci Code
• Artemis Fowl
• Artemis Fowl: The Seventh Dwarf
• Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident
• Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
• Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception
• Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony
• Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (new)
• The Bartimaeus Trilogy: The Amulet of Samarkand
• The Bartimaeus Trilogy: The Golem's Eye
• The Bartimaeus Trilogy: Ptolemy's Gate

Wow. That is a lot of books. 72 to be exact. I wonder how long it will take me to read them all. Years perhaps. I will underline the name of the book once I have read it, so I can easily monitor my progress. I will also probably add more books to the list eventually. I will put the book name in bold when I have started reading it, italics when I am halfway through and I will underline it when I am done. I will also write a review of the book on my blog when I am done.

Midnight Blogging

12:54 am
I am tired, bored, and my eyes hurt. I don't really know why I am writing a blog entry past midnight, I really don't. I could just go to bed so I can wake up for Alice in Wonderland rehearsal but no, I decided to write a blog entry instead. I don't even have anything to blog about so it is pretty much completely pointless. Maybe in a few years time I will read this entry and think 'Now why the hell did I write that?' Then I would remember that I was a crazy mushroom muncher from Mars. Yeah I don't know what I'm talking about either.

1:01 am
I am still tired. My eyes still hurt. Maybe I should go to sleep. Or maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. If you are reading this entry you are wasting your time, because I certainly am. I guess I should go downstairs and crawl into bed, falling asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Oh crap, my mum is home. BYE!

Smoking

I think that smoking should be illegal. What does it do apart from shorten our lives and waste our money? I have thought on this topic for quite a long time, and I think it is finally time for me to speak out.

I am sick of walking down the street all the time, walk past a person that is smoking and catch a big whiff of smoke. Just think of all the toxins going into my body! I have even resorted to holding my breath each time I see someone smoking, then finally breathing out when I am far away from the source. I don't want to breathe in the smoke and tobacco that emits from the mouth of these selfish beings. That's right, I said they were selfish. They are depleting the ozone layer for absolutely no reason apart from their own enjoyment, and then they exhale and force us to breathe in their waste. It's unacceptable.

I don't have anything against the person that smokes, as it is not completely their fault. The sale of tobacco should have been outright banned years ago, before it became a part of life for people. Now it is too late, and if it gets banned now it will just cause a lot of strife. It will open up mass black markets to distribute the stuff, and it will involve lots of more people to go to jail or have charges laid on them. It will also cause some people to go out of their minds, the people that are addicted. They will go insane and that will cause large problems for the government and other social services.

Ever since I was young I decided that I would not smoke. Never let myself get hooked. I decided that once I was past the age of 20 I would try a cigarette and then never touch one again. I say over 20 because apparently people that age have a lot more self control than teenagers do, which will hopefully stop me getting addicted.

My Voki. (Push the 'Play' button)

Get a Voki now!

Life

This is going to be quite a deep blog entry about life.

I love life. I can't imagine not living. I would like to believe in reincarnation but I just can't see it happening. That means we have one shot at life. One chance to get it right. I want to live my life to the absolute full, and not leave anything out. There are no second chances at life. You just have to do what you can with the opportunities are given. I always get annoyed when I see people throwing away their life, their only chance, by smoking, binge drinking, drugs etc. They are just letting their lives waste away, not doing anything productive. I can sort of understand their thinking though. That is probably be their idea of living their life to the full. Too bad they don't realise what they are actually doing to themselves.

I want to make sure that I don't waste my life. I don't want to be one of those people that grow up, get married, and die. I want to do something special with my life that gets remembered, leaves my mark on this Earth. I'm not sure what for or how I am going to do it, but I will do it somehow.

I am at an age at the moment where my future is still greatly undetermined. I am at an age where a lot of what I do will effect my future. If I screw up now, don't focus at school, I will find it hard to to back on the rails. If I decide to become rebellious, it could mean that I won't end up getting into a good NCEA class, leading to not going into university, leading to not getting a good job. I have to make sure that I live my life right, and make sure I don't throw away my life.

Copter

Some people honestly have no life. My high score is only 5412. This guy over doubled my score. I repeat, NO LIFE!

University

I am definitely going to go to university, but I'm not sure what I want to study. I will probably do a Bachelor of Arts and something else. My sister did a law degree and she said it was really boring, and that the only thing that kept her going was her Bachelor of Arts. A lot of the subjects in that course appeal to me. History, French, Classical Studies, Mathematics, Philosophy, Ancient History and others.

As for my other option, I have hardly any clue. I could possibly do a sports science degree, but I am not really sure what that includes. I can't really think of anything else that I can do, as I don't have any ideas for a career path.

University is very important to me. My mum didn't go to uni when she was young, and she very much regreted it when she wanted to get her degree just a few years ago. She said that is was much harder to learn and remember things as an oldie, rather than a youth. I am not going to make the same mistake, and I am going to get my education out of the way so I can live the rest of my life.

Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant

Paul Pierce Celebrates With the MVP Trophy

The Boston Celtics. New NBA Champions!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Well, yes! But nooooooooooooooooooooo!. Yes!, because the Boston Celtics have won the NBA finals for the first time in 21 years. Noooooooooooooooooooo!, because I missed the whole freakin game because I was at school and had Alice in Wonderland rehearsal after school. The whole time I was at the rehearsal I was fidgeting restlessly, hoping with all my heart that the Lakers could beat the Celtics, forcing the game 7 on Friday so I could watch the whole game. But luck wasn't on my side. The Celtics absolutely annihilated the Lakers in a 131-92 victory. And the replay is on at finishes at midnight tonight, and I can't watch it because I have to get up early tomorrow for another rehearsal! I can't even record it because my mum hasn't set up our DVD recorder so we can't record anything on SKY!!!!!!!

Oh well, I am happy that the Celtics won, and that Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce finally have their first championship rings. Pierce got the well-deserved Most Valuable Player award for the finals, and fans all over Boston are cheering for joy.

10 Years Time

In ten years time I see myself travelling the world, hopefully with the love of my life, or if the right girl (or guy [but mainly girl]) hasn't come along yet, then I will go with a mate (probably Josh). I would have just graduated from uni (not sure what in yet), so I will be full of knowledge. Hopefully whoever I go with and I will be fully loaded so we could stay in each country a few months at a time, so we can get the full feeling of each place. We won't leave any countries out so we don't miss out on anything. Because my brain will be bursting with knowledge from uni, all I will then will be experience. Experience that I can gather by traveling the world.

After we have travelled to all (or most) of the countries, whoever I am travelling with and I will settle down in one country for a few years (probably the UK or the USA. Over there I will use my knowledge and experience to get a good job and earn lots of money.

After a few years I will move back to New Zealand to the Whangaparaoa Peninsula to settle down and start a family and stuff. I will probably go back to school and get my Doctorate in whatever.

I would also like to go somewhere with my basketball. It would be great to represent my country in the sport, or even make it into the NBA. If something like that did happen, I would probably have to put my travel and education on hold which will be quite hard. It is really important to me that I go to university and get my education, because I know I will regret it later in life if I don't.

Zimbabwe

This is my work on Zimbabwe for my Social Studies homework.

Zimbabwe is located in the southern part of Africa and it is surrounded by land in all directions (or landlocked). To it’s northwest is Zambia, to the east is Mozambique, Botswana to the south and South Africa to the south. The majority of people in Zimbabwe speak Shona, which is one of two native languages in Zimbabwe, although the official language of the country is English.

Zimbabwe used to be called Southern Rhodesia and it was controlled by the United Kingdom, up until after the civil war. On the 18th of April 1980, the country became an independent nation. It got it’s new name of Zimbabwe, a new flag, and a government led by Robert Mugabe. Mugabe became Prime Minister and Canaan Banana became the first president. In 1988 the government abolished the prime ministerial office, and Robert Mugabe became president. In 2000, Robert Mugabe began to reclaim land from the white population (mainly farmland) and redistributed it out to 250,000 Africans.

Zimbabwe is currently experiencing a shortage of funds, which has led to causing shortages of imported fuel and goods, and also hyperinflation. Critics blame it on Mugabe’s land reclamation programme.


Facts
· The capital of Zimbabwe is Harare, and it is also the largest city.
· Its total area is 390,757 km squared. The 60th largest in the world. Only 1%of the land is water.
· Zimbabwe’s population is 20,010,000. The 68th largest in the world.
· GDP= $400,000,000,000. The 80th largest in the world
· GDP Per Capita= $188. The 178th largest in the world.
· Zimbabwe’s motto is “Unity, Freedom, Work”

Happy 60th Blog entry Anniversary!

Yay! 60 blog entries!

I am Bored

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored right now. I am just waiting for Desperate Housewives to come on (Shut up! It's actually a very manly programme!) ad I have nothing to do except blog. Dang. I have run out of blog ideas. I know, why don't I just write some random sentences, and see what comes out.

Billy the man frog lives on a banana. One day he lifted up a nose hair and spanked the giant monkey from across the road. Little did he know, that his dried up goober brain cheese ball was rolling in the dragon, and that it was screaming a song full of tranquilisers and boogers. People from the 19th century used to keep lollipops in their butt holes to keep them warm in the winter, even though it is illegal on other planets. Helicopters from Pluto like to dance on evil monkey sausage men on Sundays, maybe even stopping in time t lick the evil marshmallow anvils from hell. Gregory the Sasquatch likes to play in the sand with no clothes on. I strongly advise you to close your eyes when you are around, otherwise you might just get too excited. Or as Mr. Tubby puts it best "Did you see what she said?". Meowie was a mushroom burger and sleeps on the moon frog if the floor is wet.

Wow. That was weird. Well I managed to kill 10 minutes. Bye!

Putting Videos On Blogs

Yes! I finally learnt how! I have finally learnt how to put a ideo from Youtube onto my blog. I have lost count of the amount of times that I have tried to upload a video from Youtube by clicking the video button when I'm creating an entry, and the copied and pasted the embed in in there. Now thanks to Vinay, I learnt that I am supposed to put the embed straight into the blog entry, rather than using the video button.

I guess I went a little bit overboard by putting 3 videos on in a row, but those are the videos that I have been wanting to put on for for a long time. You should really check out the videos I put on, they are great! They are some awsome dunks from some of my favourite players.

Now I am going to enjoy blogging much more, withthe knowledge that I can put videos on it that will contribute to making my blog a bit more interesting.

Dwight Howard Superman Dunk

Shaquille O'Neal Breaks the Backboard

720 Degree dunk. AMAZING!

Basketball

Basketball is my life. I have been playing the sport for 7 and a half years now, and I still love it. I am currently in the Under 15 Hibiscus Coast Rep Team as a trainer, because I am too old for the team at the moment and I need to wait until next year when there is an Under 17's team. So now I just train with the Under 15's to keep up my skills in preparation for next year.

Right now the Under 15 team consists of. . .

Point Guards= Kale, Chris, Jamie, Daniel
Wings= Connor, Sam, Jacob, Alex
Posts= Andrew, Matt, Marco, Clark, Joe, Ryan and myself.

We are currently in the Intercity tournament which has been going on every Saturday for the past few weeks. We have won every game except our last game against Massey our rival. Tomorrow we are playing against Harbour B which will be a tough game, and we will have to work really hard to win.

The Big Three. Ray Alen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce (in that order). P.S They have switched shirts with eachother.

Wow. And He is Wearing the Same Shoes I have as well!

Pierce, Garnett and Allen have 35 years of NBA experience among them, but none has won a championship. Yet.

Limh

Limh stands for 'Laughing in My Head'. I made it up and I'm tring to make it replace lol which stands for 'Laugh Out Loud'. I mean come on! I don't know about other people but when I write lol when I'm texting I don't actually laugh out loud, I just laugh in my head. I have talked to other people about it and they agree with me. Now they are using limh to help it spread. Hopefully someday it will fully replace lol and other things like rofl and roflmao, and become known all around the world and I can say I started it all.

Limh is pronounced like 'lime'. If you are reading this maybe you could use it aswell! And if people ask you what it means you tell them, then you tell them what I am telling you right now.

Really Cool Photo of Kobe Bryant vs. Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett Going for a Dunk

Kevin Garnett

Paul Pierce vs. Derek Fisher

The NBA Finals

The NBA Playoff finals has finally arrived, and as I predicted the two teams are the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. It is a best-of-seven series and the Celtics lead the games 2-1. I want the Celtics to win for 2 reasons.

1. My second favourite player (Kevin Garnett) is in the team


2. They have not won an NBA championship since 1986

Lately I haven't talked to anyone that wants the Lakers to win, which I find quite surprising because the team is very popular. I don't really mind if the Lakers win but I would prefer it the Celtics won. The Lakers used to be my favourite team, back when they had Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant, Gary Payton, Karl Malone and Derek Fisher. But then Payton and Malone retired and Shaq got traded to the Miami Heat. The Heat then became my favourite team and they won a championship in 2006. But then Shaq got traded to the Phoenix Suns and the Heat are at the bottom of the whole NBA.

I want the Celtics to win the next two games so the game will go to game five and the final will be in the weekend. If the Lakers win any more games, that means that the final game will be on school day and I will have to beg my mum to let me stay home and watch it. don't think she will let me but its worth a try.

The Best Experience I could have with a Reliever

Good morning Auckland and welcome to 94.2, The Edge. You are with JJ, Mike and Dom on the Morning Madhouse, and for all you students you better get up soon, as the clock has just rolled over to 8:03. The weather is looking goo-

I slammed my hand on the button to stop my alarm, then I groaned and rolled over. Did I really have to go to school today. I studied the rays of light emitting from the crack between the curtains, and I wished that my day would turn out the same: Something fun coming through the tediousness. I stumbled out of bed and ripped open the curtains. I recoiled as my eyes adjusted to the new light, and I felt around for my watch. As I clasped it around my wrist, I glanced at my time-table and noticed that I had an all-day English class today. Ugh! A whole day of English? Not my cup of tea really. And what makes it worse was our old bat of a teacher Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg. Think about the worst, most boring teacher you have ever had. Got the image in your head? Good. Now times that by 10. That's how bad she is. The poor lady doesn't even speak fluent English!

I quickly got changed into my school uniform and rushed out the door, managing a quick "Bye Mum!" before I left. I looked at my watch. 8.39. Not too bad. I only live five minutes from the school, so I guess I wouldn't be late this time. Well I hope so. I wouldn't like to think of what Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg would do to me if I was late. I strolled into class, trying to make myself look as cool as possible, and maybe even to impress my crush: Salmon.

Salmon was one of those great girls that can always take a joke, and that always has a smile on her face. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, on the inside as well as the outside. What I mean by that is not that she has sexy intestines, but that she has an awesome personality. I reckon that it is looks that makes you like a person, but personality that makes you love them. I guess that means I love her, and yet I had never even plucked up the courage to say hi to her. She is way out of my league, and there is no chance in hell that I would ever get the chance to go out with her. So I guess for now I will just admire her from afar, and hope that one day I will be brave enough to strike up a conversation with her.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg wasn't even at her desk! Instead it was some young looking dude with cool sunnies and board shorts. From the moment he started talking I knew we weren't in for an ordinary day. He had one of those cool American surfer accents, and he started going on about the work that we were going to do today. He started listing the the activities, and my heart dropped. Five essays, three creative writing stories, four poems and nine worksheets. Just thinking about all that made my brain hurt, and I couldn't imagine what will happen when I try to do them. I was nearly about to cry when our reliever started looking at us weird and then said "Um. . . I was just joking." The class erupted into laughter. I was sooo relieved! I guess that's why the call him a reliever. The class quietened down so the teacher could speak again. "Instead, we shall be playing outside all day on the basketball courts all day, and then I will buy you all Subway for lunch.

Everybody had smiles on their faces as we made our way out to the basketball court. We were all talking about how cool this teacher was, if anyone would ask him if he could permanently replace Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg. I bet that thought was on everybodies mind, even though it was so outlandish and unlikely.

The guy handed out the basketballs and we just mucked around with them for what felt like an hour when the surfer dude yelled "Lunch time!". I looked at my watch and it was already 1:30! How could this be? Could we really have been playing that long? I guess time flies when your having fun! I chowed down on my Subway sandwich and savoured the taste of all the different ingredients. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Everyone just loved the surfer dude.

After we finished our lunch the teacher announced that we were going to go back to the classroom to chill out. Everyone got up to leave and so did I, when the surfer dude called me over. "That girl over there," he said, pointing at Salmon. "You have a thing for her don't you? You have been staring at her for the whole lunch break." I sat there in silence. "Yeah I thought so." He said. "You really should talk to her, if you want to get with her I mean. It's no use admiring someone from afar. I learnt that the hard way." He stared into the sky, lost in his memories. "Let's go back to class. Everyone will be having too much fun without us." And with that he stood up and strode towards the classroom.

On my way back to the class I made up my mind. I was going to talk to Salmon. I made my way into the class and there she was. Sitting with her friends at the desk. I edged my towards her. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could she said "Hi Patrick." I felt my face going hot and I couldn't manage to utter a word. I looked at her friends snickering around her, and I began to wonder how such a nice girl hangs out with ones so nasty. I managed to mumble something about the weather as I turned around and sat over at my desk. There I sat, lost in thought for hours. Not responding to anyone that talked to me.

I had done it. At last I managed to talk to Salmon. This was truly the best experience I could have with a reliever. This day will be stuck in my mind for years to come.

Down by One

There was 2 seconds left on the clock. We were down by 1 point. I had been fouled, and there I stood at the freethrow line. All I had to do was make both my shots, then we would win the tournament. Be ranked first in New Zealand. I looked over at the guy in the number 10 singlet on the opposing team, the man that had dominated our team from the start. He was the guy that had fouled me, and he had fouled me hard. I rubbed my wrist as I painfully remembered how he had landed on top of it and crushed it with all his weight (which is quite heavy considering that he is 7 foot tall). My wrist felt shattered. There was no way I could make my shots! As the referee handed me the ball looked into the stadium crowd. I could see my dad sitting there cheering me on. That gave me all the hope in the world, and as the ball rolled off my fingertips and soared straight into the hoop I could hear him yelling 'Go Chris! You can do it!' The applause and cheering from our bench and supporters was deafening, and I go ready to take my next shot.

All of a sudden a felt a sharp pain in my wrist. I must have strained it even further by taking my last shot. This next one was going to be tough, and I wasn't sure I could do it. Nevertheless,I told myself 'Come on, Chris. We practice these all the time.' The sweat dripped down my forehead and I looked down at my brand new Adidas shoes that I had bought specially for this tournament. On them they read T-Mac, meaning Tracy McGrady, a great player in the NBA. Just by looking at his name, it gave me courage to overcome my nerves and take my shot. I bent my knees, lined my elbow in front of my face, and rolled the ball off my fingertips , but NO! my wrist gave way and the ball was sent hurling towards the left of the hoop. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I would have burst out crying if the referee had not penetrated my thoughts with two short, sharp blows f the whistle. "Line violation," he called. "take another shot." All sadness left me, and was replaced by happiness and relief. What had happened was that the guy in the number 10 singlet had stepped over the line to rebound, before I had even taken my shot. Therefore, I got another shot. But it wasn't over yet, I still had to make my next shot. This was going to be a piece of cake. My wrist wasn't sore anymore as at must have clicked back into place, and as the balled slipped up and over into the hoop, without even touching the rim.

The whole stadium was cheering for me, and my teammates rushed over to me and lifted me up on my shoulders. This was the happiest moment of my life, and it was rudely interrupted by the referees reminding us that we still had 2 seconds on the clock. Our team went to go play defence and straight away my team mate got a steal! 0.5 seconds left. Pass to me. . . Dunk! The buzzer went, and we had won. The crowd erupted in applause and cheering, and I rushed over to my dad and hugged him. That was it! The Hibiscus Coast Hawks were ranked first in New Zealand for the Under 15 level.

Immortal Life

I would quite like to live forever. Watch mankind develop and technology advance. Once I got to a certain age I would like to just stop aging completely. I would like to live without pain and suffering, and be able to stay alive in space or underwater. I would like to have a perfect immune system. Be able to fight off any disease before it reaches it's early stages. As soon as I get a wound it heals.

I would like my knowledge to ever expand, never letting me forget any piece of information. To know everything there is to know, and to be able to recall any information when I needed it. I would like to live into the future, getting all the latest technology and listening to the latest music.

The only problems that I would have with immortal life would be loneliness, and the ever looming prospect of the end of the world. It would be hard watching everyone that I love die around me, and having to try and fit in once I'm alone. And also when the inevitable end of the world comes, what will I do? Just float around in space visiting solar system after solar system? Despite the loneliness, that actually sounds pretty cool. Discover new planets and life-forms, and maybe even create a new civilisation.

What are your thoughts on immortal life? Post some comments on this entry about your views.

Explaining the whole "Top 10" thingymabob

In English class the teacher went through our blogs. It turns out we were supposed to have at least 39 blog entries, and I only happened to have 19. Yeah, only 20 less than I needed! I had heard from a friend that he had gone onto the Internet and found the 101 jokes page. He copied and pasted all 101 of the jokes into 5 different blog entries. I decided that it was a pretty intelligent idea, and I decided to do something similar.

I remembered going on a cool website a couple of years ago, a website full of HILARIOUS Top 10 lists that kept me entertained for hours. The website was called http://www.brainofbrian.com/topten.html. I remembered this website a couple of days ago, and thought it would be cool to put some of the lists on my blog. So last night, I spent about an hour copying and pasting these lists onto my blog one by one, completely losing track of time. I wasn't keeping count of how man lists I did, so when I finished the last one I thought I must have a total of 20-30 total blog entries. I clicked the 'View Blog' link, and was shocked and amazed to see that I had 39 blog entries! That's right, 39 blog entries!!!!! I thought there must be some sort of mistake, so I carefully counted every single blog entry. There was no mistake. I had a grand total of 39. I couldn't believe how coincidental this was. The number of blog entries I required, was the exact amount of blog entries I got!

So at the moment have 40 blog entries (Well 41 if you include this one). I am currently showing all of the entries on one page (to make it look really long!), and I think other people are going to follow my example on the mass blog entry making.

Things I Want to do Before I Kick the Bucket (My Bucket List)

These are all the things that I can think of that I want to do before I die. . .

• Write and publish a novel
• Invent a famous quote
• Be in a movie
• Represent my country in a sport
• Travel to every country in the world
• Become a billionaire
• Release a music album
• Go to Dubai and do everything there that I can
• Get a Doctorate in something
• Be in the Guinness Book of Records for something
• Become a house-hold name around the world
• Go sky-diving
• Climb Mount Everest
• Be able to dunk a basketball hoop
• Develop a theory on something
• Go into space

That's all I can think of right now so I'll update the blog entry if I think of something else.

Top 40 Funny Foreign Signs

40. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
39. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
38. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
37. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
36. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
35. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
34. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
33. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
32. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
31. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
30. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
29. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
28. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
27. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
26. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
25. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
24. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
23. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
22. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
21. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
20. In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
19. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
18. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such things, please do not read notis.
17. In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
16. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
15. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
14. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
13. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
12. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
11. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
10. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
9. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
8. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
7. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
6. From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
5. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
4. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
3. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.
2. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
1. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Top 40 Things to do While in an Elevator

40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence!
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP!""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Top 24 Things You Woudn't Know Without the Movies

24. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
21. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
20. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
19. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
18. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
17. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
16. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.

Top 24 Funniest Signs Seen in the USA

24. In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
23. In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
22. In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
21. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
20. On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
19. At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
18. On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
17. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
16. In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
15. In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
14. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
13. On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
12. In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
11. In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
10. On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
9. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
8. In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
7. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. -- Sisters of Mercy"
6. In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
5. A parking sign in front of a Boston meditation center: "Visualize Being Towed."
4. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
3. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
2. In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
1. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."

Top 20 Things to do While Ordering Pizza

20. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
19. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
18. Put them on hold.
17. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented...
16. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
15. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
14. Be vague in your order. When they ask what you'd like on your pizza say, "Oh, a little of this, a little of that..."
13. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
12. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
11. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
10. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
9. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
8. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
7. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the jazz about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
5. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
4. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
3. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
2. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
1. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

Top 20 Useless Inventions

20. Non stick Cellotape
19. Solar Powered Flash Light (torch)
18. A black highlighter pen
17. Glow in the dark sunglasses
16. Inflatable Anchor
15. Smooth Sandpaper
14. Waterproof sponge
13. Waterproof Teabags
12. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
11. Fireproof Matches
10. Fireproof Cigarettes
9. Battery powered Battery Charger
8. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
7. Hand powered Chainsaw
6. Inflatable Dartboard
5. Silent Alarm Clock
4. A Pedal powered wheelchair
3. Braille Drivers Manual
2. Double sided playing cards
1. Ejector seats for Helicopters

Top 17 Ways to Freak-Out your Room mate

17. Smoke ballpoint pens.
16. Smile -- All the time.
15. Always flush the toilet three times.
14. Listen to radio static.
13. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
12. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
11. Whenever you go to sleep, starts jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep...every night for a month.
10. Ask your roommate if he/she has ever looked into the eye's of his/her victim.
9. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
8. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
7. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
5. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door
4. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
3. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. With an air of disdain, announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
2. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

Top 14 Fun Things to do in a Public Bathroom

14. Using a small squeeze tube spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
12. Take in a wineskin filled w/ water. Stand and slowing squeeze it out into the toilet, every 15-20 seconds moan or sigh.
11. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
10. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
9. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
8. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
7. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
4. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
3. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
2. After flushing Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
1. Fill a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

Top 10 Odd Medical Statements

10. "The skin was moist and dry."
9. "The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."
8. "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
7. "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead."
6. "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
5. "While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
4. "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce."
3. "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
2. "She is numb from her toes down."
1. "The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."

Top 10 Worst Things to See on your Performance Evaluation (Real excerpts from performance evaluations)

10. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
9. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
8. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
4. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
3. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
1. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

Top 10 Ways to eep Wackiness in the Workplace

10. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
9. Schedule meetings for 4:14 PM.
8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers or tape dispensers.
7. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
6. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
5. When co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward as if you are about to say something then go back to work.
4. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
2. Include a personal note on every email that you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."
1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

Top 12 Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems.
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, Ask them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where it located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (Few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where on earth she could know you from.
6. Say, "No", repeatedly. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Mantermills." You: "Mantermills!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Say to the Telemarketer, "Sorry, I can't talk right now but if you'd just give me your home phone number I'll call you when I'm not as busy. When they say in a flustered way that they can't give out their home number say, "Oh, I see...you don't want strangers calling you at your home! Now you know how I feel."

Top 10 Weirdest Statements (Made by prospective employees during an interview)

10. "Once a week, I usually feel hot all over."
9. "People are always watching me."
8. "My legs are really hairy."
7. "I think I'm going to throw up."
6. "I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement."
5. "I feel uneasy indoors."
4. "Sometimes I feel like smashing things."
3. "I get excited very easily."
2. "At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."
1. "I am fascinated by fire."

Top 10 Dumbest Criminals

10. Strike one! England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
9. "Hello? Guns for hire?" Arizona: A company called "Guns for Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
8. Say cheese! A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
7. Drop everything and run! Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
6. Just forget it Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it.
5. Ouch A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help . . .
4. Let's do a little math A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
3. I know I forgot something Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.
2. You mean me? A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
1. The Hefty-bag A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.

Top 10 Drinking Symptoms

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor swaying.
FAULT: Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey game in progress.
ACTION: Insert broom handle down back of jacket.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not, complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and fluorescent light strip across it.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: If your glass is full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you get up; lash self to bar.

SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dim, mouth full of cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
FAULT: The Bar is closing.
ACTION: Panic.

Top 10 Ways to Freak Out Your Co-Workers

10. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
9. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
8. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
7. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
6. Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
5. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
4. Sneak up behind some engrossed in their work screaming, "DISK FIGHT!!!" and bop them on the head with a disk.
3. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
2. Get a pair of 3-d glasses. Wobble around while walking and keep yelling, "Whoa, that looked so real!"
1. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you

T.A.C.O

The year was 2059. We were only 3 years into the War. The War against the New World Government (NWG). Ever since the discovery of the T.A.C.O, the world was never the same. The days were darker, the wars were fiercer, and poverty flourished everywhere you looked. Destruction. Chaos. Death. That's the only way I can describe it. Education had been abolished in nearly every place in the world. But not here. Not at Whangaparaoa College. It was one of three of the last schools in the world, and I happened to be lucky enough to go there. Of the 16,000 students that were at the school last year, only 11 students other than myself remained. The rest had all perished in the first mass T.A.C.O explosion. The weapon was rightly named the Teacher And Child Obliterator, because that is exactly what it did. Little did I know that today, the second bomb would be unleashed.

Chapter 1

Faster. I had to run faster! I can't believe I slept in again! The hover-jeeps were closing in behind me, and I had a gut feeling that they were going to catch me at any second. I was only about 50 metres from the secret entrance to the school, but keeping the whereabouts of the entrance secret was more important than my life. I had to lose them first, all the while trying to avoid the hand-held TA.C.O rays. I just had to keep on running in circles. All I had to do was let them lose sight of me, and then make a dive into the large oak trees. That's what I did last time. Lets just hope it will work again. I sprinted around the corner, and then I made my move. I dove to the left, grazing my knee on the sharp bristles of the trees and bushes. I crouched down in between two large tree trunks and behind a bush. I could hear the jeep slow down, and as I peeped through the leaves I could vaguely make out the NWG logo. The jeep was only hovering a few inches above the ground now, and was going about 5 kilometres an hour. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, with my heart pounding in my throat and my ears straining for any trace of sound for more jeeps. There was nothing except the rustling of the trees to be heard, so I got up and straightened my uniform. Phew, that was close! I walked out on to the dusty road and made my way towards the third bush on the left of the largest oak tree. I pulled apart the shrubbery and felt around for the metal handle that would open the trapdoor. As my hand enclosed around the cold, hard object, I pulled towards me and the trapdoor it the dirt beside me with a loud clang! I scrambled down the long ladder, the darkness around me swallowing me whole. I hit the ground with a thud, and looked around at the dimly lit corridors and rooms that were made out of titanium. I didn't want to think of what Madam Bullwich would do to me if I strolled in late for the second time in 2 weeks. All I knew was that it would be bad. Really bad. I decided I would just face what ever she had in store for me, and hope that she didn't make me wish that I had gotten blasted to oblivion by the T.A.C.O rays. I slowly crept around the corner, praying for the slim chance that I could slip into class unnoticed. But before I could even take a look at my class mates I heard a "FREDERICK BAKER!!!!" And there she was. The long-nosed, grey-haired, hunch-backed old lady with a prison warden voice. "Where the hell have you been," she yelled "and why are you covered in leaves?!??!??!!!" Every part of me was shaking, and managed to mumble something about sleeping in and the NWG. I could see the relief in her eyes that I had made it here safely, but this wasn't going to water-down m punishment. "You are going to write a 6000 word essay on why you can not sleep in during these times, and what will happen if you get yourself caught by the NWG!" I thought I was the luckiest 14 year old boy in the world (and I probably was right)! She had let me off so lightly! Last time. . . . . . . I don't even want to talk about last time. I was about turn around to sit down at my desk when Madam Bullwich added "and then you shall eat it." It felt like a stone dropped into the pit of my stomach. We had run out of flavoured paper yesterday.

To be continued. . . . .


(I will edit this blog entry every now and then to finish the story.
For Drew and Issac: Don't copy and paste this last bit or the to be continued thingy and just write BANG at the end of the story.)

Top 10 Unusual Things Done During an Interview

10. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to arm wrestle.
9. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
8. Candidate brought large dog to interview.
7. Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
6. Balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hair piece.
5. Applicant said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
4. Candidate dozed off during interview.
3. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
2. Candidate explained that her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer.
1. Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Hmework thingy ma bob

In the passagebelow I had to substitute words for. . .

3 synonyms
3 antonyms
1 homonym

Original
Tim could not believe it. Overnight, the world had changed from a grey, dark mess to a beautiful white wonderland. He walked outside onto the snow and gazed at it in wonder. Tim had never seen anything like it in the ten years that he had been living in Auckland, and he didn't think that he would ever see it again.He spun around in the swirling white but regretted it when he fell over. He got up quickly, hoping nobody had seen him. Tim's annoying little sister came sprinting out into the street, screaming with excitement. She begged him to help her make a snowman so they knelt on the pavement and started to scoop up as much snow as they could into a pail. After about an hour, the snowman was huge and Tim was freezing. He carefully stepped over the ice, back into the house for some hot chocolate.

Mine
Tim could not believe it. Overnight, the Earth had changed from a grey, dark mess to an ugly white wonderland. He strolled outside onto the snow and looked at it in dread. Tim had never seen anything like it in the ten years that he had been living in Auckland, and he didn't think that he would ever see it again.He spun around in the swirling white but regretted it when he fell over. He got up quickly, hoping nobody had seen him. Tim's annoying little sister came sprinting out into the street, screaming with excitement. She begged him to help her make a snowman so they knelt on the pavement and started to scoop up as much snow as they could into a pale bucket. After about an hour, the snowman was huge and Tim was freezing. He carelessly stepped over the ice, back into the house for some hot chocolate.

So there. Nothing spectacular but at least it's done.

Top 10 things to do at the mall

10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

NBA Playoffs

This year is really the first year that I have followed the playoffs, but now I check the results every day and it has become a large part of my life. I have always enjoyed basketball, but I am really getting into the NBA now because I have been playing NBA Live 2007 on PlayStation 2. My favourite team at the moment is the Phoenix Suns. They have big names like Shaquille O'Neal, Steve Nash, and Amare Stoudemire. They also have the only New Zealander in the whole league. His name is Sean Marks.

Shaquille O'Neal is my favourite player and my favourite team is always the team that he is in (much like Seamus and Edwin Van Der Sar). He is 7 foot 1 and he currently averages 15. 2 points a game. He is way pat his prime and he isn't half of what he used to be (which is still really good. That is why is my favourite player).

My second favourite player is Kevin Garnett. He plays for the Boston Celtics and he has never won an NBA championship in his 12 seasons of playing. Despite that, he is a great player and could be labelled as one of the best players of all time. He stands a 6 feet and 11 inches and he currently averages 20.5 points a game.

My third favourite player is Dwight Howard who plays for the Orlando Magic. I only decided that he was my third favourite player yesterday when I saw him winning the NBA All Stars Slam-Dunk competition. He is 6 foot 11 and he currently averages 20.9 points a game. He is only 22 years old and he is already an outstanding player.

At first I wanted the Phoenix Suns to win, but they got knocked put in the first round. Now (second round) I am going for Boston, Orlando, and the Los Angeles Lakers. Both Boston and Orlando lost their games today, but hopefully they can reclaim victory in the next few games of the best-out-of-7 series.