Limh

Limh stands for 'Laughing in My Head'. I made it up and I'm tring to make it replace lol which stands for 'Laugh Out Loud'. I mean come on! I don't know about other people but when I write lol when I'm texting I don't actually laugh out loud, I just laugh in my head. I have talked to other people about it and they agree with me. Now they are using limh to help it spread. Hopefully someday it will fully replace lol and other things like rofl and roflmao, and become known all around the world and I can say I started it all.

Limh is pronounced like 'lime'. If you are reading this maybe you could use it aswell! And if people ask you what it means you tell them, then you tell them what I am telling you right now.

Really Cool Photo of Kobe Bryant vs. Kevin Garnett

Kevin Garnett Going for a Dunk

Kevin Garnett

Paul Pierce vs. Derek Fisher

The NBA Finals

The NBA Playoff finals has finally arrived, and as I predicted the two teams are the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. It is a best-of-seven series and the Celtics lead the games 2-1. I want the Celtics to win for 2 reasons.

1. My second favourite player (Kevin Garnett) is in the team


2. They have not won an NBA championship since 1986

Lately I haven't talked to anyone that wants the Lakers to win, which I find quite surprising because the team is very popular. I don't really mind if the Lakers win but I would prefer it the Celtics won. The Lakers used to be my favourite team, back when they had Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant, Gary Payton, Karl Malone and Derek Fisher. But then Payton and Malone retired and Shaq got traded to the Miami Heat. The Heat then became my favourite team and they won a championship in 2006. But then Shaq got traded to the Phoenix Suns and the Heat are at the bottom of the whole NBA.

I want the Celtics to win the next two games so the game will go to game five and the final will be in the weekend. If the Lakers win any more games, that means that the final game will be on school day and I will have to beg my mum to let me stay home and watch it. don't think she will let me but its worth a try.

The Best Experience I could have with a Reliever

Good morning Auckland and welcome to 94.2, The Edge. You are with JJ, Mike and Dom on the Morning Madhouse, and for all you students you better get up soon, as the clock has just rolled over to 8:03. The weather is looking goo-

I slammed my hand on the button to stop my alarm, then I groaned and rolled over. Did I really have to go to school today. I studied the rays of light emitting from the crack between the curtains, and I wished that my day would turn out the same: Something fun coming through the tediousness. I stumbled out of bed and ripped open the curtains. I recoiled as my eyes adjusted to the new light, and I felt around for my watch. As I clasped it around my wrist, I glanced at my time-table and noticed that I had an all-day English class today. Ugh! A whole day of English? Not my cup of tea really. And what makes it worse was our old bat of a teacher Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg. Think about the worst, most boring teacher you have ever had. Got the image in your head? Good. Now times that by 10. That's how bad she is. The poor lady doesn't even speak fluent English!

I quickly got changed into my school uniform and rushed out the door, managing a quick "Bye Mum!" before I left. I looked at my watch. 8.39. Not too bad. I only live five minutes from the school, so I guess I wouldn't be late this time. Well I hope so. I wouldn't like to think of what Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg would do to me if I was late. I strolled into class, trying to make myself look as cool as possible, and maybe even to impress my crush: Salmon.

Salmon was one of those great girls that can always take a joke, and that always has a smile on her face. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, on the inside as well as the outside. What I mean by that is not that she has sexy intestines, but that she has an awesome personality. I reckon that it is looks that makes you like a person, but personality that makes you love them. I guess that means I love her, and yet I had never even plucked up the courage to say hi to her. She is way out of my league, and there is no chance in hell that I would ever get the chance to go out with her. So I guess for now I will just admire her from afar, and hope that one day I will be brave enough to strike up a conversation with her.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg wasn't even at her desk! Instead it was some young looking dude with cool sunnies and board shorts. From the moment he started talking I knew we weren't in for an ordinary day. He had one of those cool American surfer accents, and he started going on about the work that we were going to do today. He started listing the the activities, and my heart dropped. Five essays, three creative writing stories, four poems and nine worksheets. Just thinking about all that made my brain hurt, and I couldn't imagine what will happen when I try to do them. I was nearly about to cry when our reliever started looking at us weird and then said "Um. . . I was just joking." The class erupted into laughter. I was sooo relieved! I guess that's why the call him a reliever. The class quietened down so the teacher could speak again. "Instead, we shall be playing outside all day on the basketball courts all day, and then I will buy you all Subway for lunch.

Everybody had smiles on their faces as we made our way out to the basketball court. We were all talking about how cool this teacher was, if anyone would ask him if he could permanently replace Mrs Grendelburgermoffensteinerhugelsquagenburg. I bet that thought was on everybodies mind, even though it was so outlandish and unlikely.

The guy handed out the basketballs and we just mucked around with them for what felt like an hour when the surfer dude yelled "Lunch time!". I looked at my watch and it was already 1:30! How could this be? Could we really have been playing that long? I guess time flies when your having fun! I chowed down on my Subway sandwich and savoured the taste of all the different ingredients. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Everyone just loved the surfer dude.

After we finished our lunch the teacher announced that we were going to go back to the classroom to chill out. Everyone got up to leave and so did I, when the surfer dude called me over. "That girl over there," he said, pointing at Salmon. "You have a thing for her don't you? You have been staring at her for the whole lunch break." I sat there in silence. "Yeah I thought so." He said. "You really should talk to her, if you want to get with her I mean. It's no use admiring someone from afar. I learnt that the hard way." He stared into the sky, lost in his memories. "Let's go back to class. Everyone will be having too much fun without us." And with that he stood up and strode towards the classroom.

On my way back to the class I made up my mind. I was going to talk to Salmon. I made my way into the class and there she was. Sitting with her friends at the desk. I edged my towards her. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could she said "Hi Patrick." I felt my face going hot and I couldn't manage to utter a word. I looked at her friends snickering around her, and I began to wonder how such a nice girl hangs out with ones so nasty. I managed to mumble something about the weather as I turned around and sat over at my desk. There I sat, lost in thought for hours. Not responding to anyone that talked to me.

I had done it. At last I managed to talk to Salmon. This was truly the best experience I could have with a reliever. This day will be stuck in my mind for years to come.

Down by One

There was 2 seconds left on the clock. We were down by 1 point. I had been fouled, and there I stood at the freethrow line. All I had to do was make both my shots, then we would win the tournament. Be ranked first in New Zealand. I looked over at the guy in the number 10 singlet on the opposing team, the man that had dominated our team from the start. He was the guy that had fouled me, and he had fouled me hard. I rubbed my wrist as I painfully remembered how he had landed on top of it and crushed it with all his weight (which is quite heavy considering that he is 7 foot tall). My wrist felt shattered. There was no way I could make my shots! As the referee handed me the ball looked into the stadium crowd. I could see my dad sitting there cheering me on. That gave me all the hope in the world, and as the ball rolled off my fingertips and soared straight into the hoop I could hear him yelling 'Go Chris! You can do it!' The applause and cheering from our bench and supporters was deafening, and I go ready to take my next shot.

All of a sudden a felt a sharp pain in my wrist. I must have strained it even further by taking my last shot. This next one was going to be tough, and I wasn't sure I could do it. Nevertheless,I told myself 'Come on, Chris. We practice these all the time.' The sweat dripped down my forehead and I looked down at my brand new Adidas shoes that I had bought specially for this tournament. On them they read T-Mac, meaning Tracy McGrady, a great player in the NBA. Just by looking at his name, it gave me courage to overcome my nerves and take my shot. I bent my knees, lined my elbow in front of my face, and rolled the ball off my fingertips , but NO! my wrist gave way and the ball was sent hurling towards the left of the hoop. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I would have burst out crying if the referee had not penetrated my thoughts with two short, sharp blows f the whistle. "Line violation," he called. "take another shot." All sadness left me, and was replaced by happiness and relief. What had happened was that the guy in the number 10 singlet had stepped over the line to rebound, before I had even taken my shot. Therefore, I got another shot. But it wasn't over yet, I still had to make my next shot. This was going to be a piece of cake. My wrist wasn't sore anymore as at must have clicked back into place, and as the balled slipped up and over into the hoop, without even touching the rim.

The whole stadium was cheering for me, and my teammates rushed over to me and lifted me up on my shoulders. This was the happiest moment of my life, and it was rudely interrupted by the referees reminding us that we still had 2 seconds on the clock. Our team went to go play defence and straight away my team mate got a steal! 0.5 seconds left. Pass to me. . . Dunk! The buzzer went, and we had won. The crowd erupted in applause and cheering, and I rushed over to my dad and hugged him. That was it! The Hibiscus Coast Hawks were ranked first in New Zealand for the Under 15 level.

Immortal Life

I would quite like to live forever. Watch mankind develop and technology advance. Once I got to a certain age I would like to just stop aging completely. I would like to live without pain and suffering, and be able to stay alive in space or underwater. I would like to have a perfect immune system. Be able to fight off any disease before it reaches it's early stages. As soon as I get a wound it heals.

I would like my knowledge to ever expand, never letting me forget any piece of information. To know everything there is to know, and to be able to recall any information when I needed it. I would like to live into the future, getting all the latest technology and listening to the latest music.

The only problems that I would have with immortal life would be loneliness, and the ever looming prospect of the end of the world. It would be hard watching everyone that I love die around me, and having to try and fit in once I'm alone. And also when the inevitable end of the world comes, what will I do? Just float around in space visiting solar system after solar system? Despite the loneliness, that actually sounds pretty cool. Discover new planets and life-forms, and maybe even create a new civilisation.

What are your thoughts on immortal life? Post some comments on this entry about your views.

Explaining the whole "Top 10" thingymabob

In English class the teacher went through our blogs. It turns out we were supposed to have at least 39 blog entries, and I only happened to have 19. Yeah, only 20 less than I needed! I had heard from a friend that he had gone onto the Internet and found the 101 jokes page. He copied and pasted all 101 of the jokes into 5 different blog entries. I decided that it was a pretty intelligent idea, and I decided to do something similar.

I remembered going on a cool website a couple of years ago, a website full of HILARIOUS Top 10 lists that kept me entertained for hours. The website was called http://www.brainofbrian.com/topten.html. I remembered this website a couple of days ago, and thought it would be cool to put some of the lists on my blog. So last night, I spent about an hour copying and pasting these lists onto my blog one by one, completely losing track of time. I wasn't keeping count of how man lists I did, so when I finished the last one I thought I must have a total of 20-30 total blog entries. I clicked the 'View Blog' link, and was shocked and amazed to see that I had 39 blog entries! That's right, 39 blog entries!!!!! I thought there must be some sort of mistake, so I carefully counted every single blog entry. There was no mistake. I had a grand total of 39. I couldn't believe how coincidental this was. The number of blog entries I required, was the exact amount of blog entries I got!

So at the moment have 40 blog entries (Well 41 if you include this one). I am currently showing all of the entries on one page (to make it look really long!), and I think other people are going to follow my example on the mass blog entry making.

Things I Want to do Before I Kick the Bucket (My Bucket List)

These are all the things that I can think of that I want to do before I die. . .

• Write and publish a novel
• Invent a famous quote
• Be in a movie
• Represent my country in a sport
• Travel to every country in the world
• Become a billionaire
• Release a music album
• Go to Dubai and do everything there that I can
• Get a Doctorate in something
• Be in the Guinness Book of Records for something
• Become a house-hold name around the world
• Go sky-diving
• Climb Mount Everest
• Be able to dunk a basketball hoop
• Develop a theory on something
• Go into space

That's all I can think of right now so I'll update the blog entry if I think of something else.

Top 40 Funny Foreign Signs

40. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
39. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
38. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
37. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
36. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
35. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
34. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
33. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
32. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
31. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
30. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
29. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
28. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
27. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
26. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
25. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
24. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
23. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
22. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
21. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
20. In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
19. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
18. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such things, please do not read notis.
17. In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
16. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
15. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
14. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
13. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
12. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
11. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
10. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
9. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
8. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
7. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
6. From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
5. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
4. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
3. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.
2. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
1. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Top 40 Things to do While in an Elevator

40. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
39. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
38. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
37. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
36. Bring a chair along.
35. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
34. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
33. Do Tai Chi exercises.
32. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
31. Meow occasionally.
30. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
29. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
28. Play the harmonica.
27. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
26. Lean against the button panel.
25. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
24. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
23. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other people "through" it.
22. Start a sing-along.
21. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
19. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
18. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
17. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
16. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. One word: Flatulence!
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
13. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
12. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
10. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, blasted, all of you just shut UP!""
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
6. Wear "x-ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
5. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
4. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
3. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
2. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
1. Draw a little square on the floor and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Top 24 Things You Woudn't Know Without the Movies

24. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
21. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
20. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
19. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
18. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
17. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
16. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.

Top 24 Funniest Signs Seen in the USA

24. In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
23. In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
22. In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
21. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
20. On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
19. At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
18. On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
17. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
16. In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
15. In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
14. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
13. On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
12. In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
11. In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
10. On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
9. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
8. In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
7. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. -- Sisters of Mercy"
6. In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
5. A parking sign in front of a Boston meditation center: "Visualize Being Towed."
4. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
3. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
2. In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
1. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."

Top 20 Things to do While Ordering Pizza

20. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
19. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
18. Put them on hold.
17. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented...
16. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
15. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
14. Be vague in your order. When they ask what you'd like on your pizza say, "Oh, a little of this, a little of that..."
13. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
12. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
11. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
10. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
9. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
8. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
7. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the jazz about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
5. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
4. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
3. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
2. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
1. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

Top 20 Useless Inventions

20. Non stick Cellotape
19. Solar Powered Flash Light (torch)
18. A black highlighter pen
17. Glow in the dark sunglasses
16. Inflatable Anchor
15. Smooth Sandpaper
14. Waterproof sponge
13. Waterproof Teabags
12. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
11. Fireproof Matches
10. Fireproof Cigarettes
9. Battery powered Battery Charger
8. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
7. Hand powered Chainsaw
6. Inflatable Dartboard
5. Silent Alarm Clock
4. A Pedal powered wheelchair
3. Braille Drivers Manual
2. Double sided playing cards
1. Ejector seats for Helicopters

Top 17 Ways to Freak-Out your Room mate

17. Smoke ballpoint pens.
16. Smile -- All the time.
15. Always flush the toilet three times.
14. Listen to radio static.
13. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
12. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
11. Whenever you go to sleep, starts jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep...every night for a month.
10. Ask your roommate if he/she has ever looked into the eye's of his/her victim.
9. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
8. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
7. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
5. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door
4. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
3. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. With an air of disdain, announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
2. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

Top 14 Fun Things to do in a Public Bathroom

14. Using a small squeeze tube spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
12. Take in a wineskin filled w/ water. Stand and slowing squeeze it out into the toilet, every 15-20 seconds moan or sigh.
11. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
10. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
9. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
8. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
7. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
4. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
3. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
2. After flushing Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
1. Fill a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

Top 10 Odd Medical Statements

10. "The skin was moist and dry."
9. "The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."
8. "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
7. "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead."
6. "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
5. "While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
4. "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce."
3. "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
2. "She is numb from her toes down."
1. "The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."